The Sam Sam

Dear Journal,
Sammy has been cracking us up lately. Driving me absolutely insane, but making us laugh all the same. Last week I thought he was having some sort of "I'm growing up and asserting opinions" moment. He brought home his folder full of the weeks school work, and instead of Sammy at the top of each page it just said Sam. So I asked him why all his papers said Sam, did he want to be called Sam? Did he ask the teacher or kids at school to call him Sam? NO to all the questions. "Then why are you writing Sam instead of Sammy?"  "Because it's shorter. I can't write S A because that's just Sa, so I have to write Sam."  I had to walk away so I didn't laugh in front of him. He's such a sloth! Seriously, he'd only write two letters if he could get away with it.
And I was dying listening to yesterday's confession.
Me: "Sam, I heard you told Ashlynn something about Ella S."
Sam:" ugh, that's a secret!"
M:" Well, can you tell me the secret?"
S:" Yes, but you can't tell anyone. I want to marry Ella S."
M:"Oh really?"
S:" Yes, and she wants to marry me."
M: "How do you know that?"
S: "She told me a while ago."
M: "Oh, so you two talked about this a while ago? Do you play with her at recess?"
S: "Ya, we run away fron Lathan a lot." (Lathan is a boy he's talked about before and always tells me how much he does not like Lathan, but never had a good reason as to why.)
M:"Why do you run away from Lathan?"
S: "Because he likes Ella S and doesn't want me to be near her!"
And the Lathan mystery is solved. He is Sammy's rival for Ella S's heart. Oh my gosh, Kindergarten love, I can't take it!