Someone once said that life's largest conflicts are between your head and your heart. I couldn't agree more. But I think that no matter the struggle the heart will always win, because the heart cannot forget. The heart does not suffer from memory lapses or forgetful spells, but holds on to feelings, people, emotions you think your head might have forgotten.
I am having one of those conflicts today and thankfully my heart is winning, or reminding me of what my head had forgotten.
It is strange to me how content I can be in my life, and how much I can feel at a loss at the same time. My life is good. I am happy. I have a wonderful loving husband; a beautiful sweet baby girl whom I have the privilege to stay home with and take care of, and I have accomplished some of my life's most important ambitions.
But today I miss my friends. My old college roommates who are scattered across the country; My old high school friends, many of whom I've lost track of; and those people I've known my whole life who always seem to live so far away. There is a melancholy, a bittersweet sadness, in knowing where they all are, and what they are doing with their lives, and being unable to be apart of it all. In being unable to have them share in my joys every day. My parents used to tell me that friends come and go, but family will always be there. That is true in a way, but very untrue in another. My family will always be there, and we will get together for holidays and summer vacations, weddings, births and funerals. And while I won't see my friends nearly as often, I will always have them in my heart. I will always want them to be apart of whatever event is happening in my family. I will reminisce and look through pictures and wish that I could transplant everyone I love to the same place. And I will treasure what they have taught me, for each of them has changed my life in a different way.
This is what comes of watching Dawson's creek re-runs by myself in the morning. The funny part is that I never watched the show when it was on in new episodes. But I watched the last 2 episodes of the series today and felt somehow attatched because of how life had scattered them. Thankfully it is time for Andi to wake up and I will now be distracted from this weird funk that I am in.
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5 comments:
Britt you're sweet. And I'm mad because I still have yet to see the final two episodes. Your post is funny because I watched on Monday and figured that the final episodes would be this week...but alas missed 'em again. Love you tons! Come visit Georgia...it's hot and fun!!
Lis you need to go to Blockbuster and rent the last season just for those 2 episodes. Totally worth the 4 bucks.
I know exactly how you feel Britt. And let me just say hello to Lisa!!! Because I otherwise don't know how to get ahold of her!!!!
Britt, that's really funny I watched the last episode today too. I was crying through the whole thing. I had to eat some icecream afterward just to cheer myself up. It makes you think.
TEAR... ok one.. DAWSONS does it to you, I know how it goes! And two yes there will always be a place for the girls. NO matter how distant we may be. Isn't technology great now that we are able to do this almost instantly? We may not BE there like family but we are always there... you know? I love you sis..!
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